28 August 2009

An Actress

She moved up to the staircase one step after another unfolding the lost episodes of her life. Probably everything around her would have been merry if she could have stepped on those specific stairs and got back the miraculous life. But that wasn't the situation she was just pulling off some unwanted steps of her life. Some of them being the most heinous one's so grave and fatal they managed to shatter and hurt her spirit. Her life was always glorious with beautiful people around her, and this was something that was apparent.

Inside her she was still sacred of her steps ad pulling off life. Day on day she got more and more restless of her motive less life. She got herself engrossed in the motion picture life where the film reel would run much faster than the colossal picture of sadness which appeared before her. But she knew she had over come on day the mental block she possessed manicured it for a very long time to breed sky length discomfort and unhappiness for her. As an actress she was bold and out going, she did all the justice to her job and may be that was the tipping point for her survival.

When alone in her plush apartment in Oceanic glance on the 22nd floor, she would penetrate right through the sea, and kept staring at the sea as if on a voyage to reach some place across the oceans where she can restart and restructure her life based on the hard hitting experience life has fabricated upon her. The she was dragged back to reality when she would regain conscious as fast as flash of light and as a rubber band. She would mostly indulge in reading love stories and their happy endings would make unhappy, and leave her with an unattainable desire of a faultless collaborator, on whom she would rely and base her life.

She was back home from the premier and confidently threw herself on the couch one more to the list she said to herself, filling up the elegant glass of wine. A red wine she loved it, the color was that of love. According to her if a fine heart is preserved and crushed it would look like a red wine. She firmly believed it was her heart that was crushed in the glass of wine. She carefully took a sip as if feeling her heart pass through the lips reaching deep in her touching every part of her body and putting it on blaze. It was her heart that made the difference than the price of the wine. She glazed at the wall of achievements all awards she had received till date. Scanning each one of them she felt nothing, she cluelessly watched them as a child does in the initial phases of his life. As if they mend nothing for her.

It was one such sudden incidence that brought her to levels the levels that made her feel really low. She never pondered over the incidence that had happened to her. She went so low with it that it was taking her such long to get over the monstrous phase of her life. Sometimes in life you don't know why you are unhappy for you are just unhappy and the tempo of unhappiness is not know and cannot be measured. As being in the glamour profession she has ensured she mastered the skill of staying physically fit and gorgeous in appearance. At the end of the day she was best in this aspect of her life. The success was always on a friendlier note with her, she has casted a magic over him, he literally followed her to most in fact the entire place, except to
the places where her heart was attached to. Now success seems to be a manipulative and biased in nature. It always played barter with her giving her more success and depriving her from happiness.

To be continued………..

12 August 2009

Taste and realization

A thought keeps lingering in my mind, and often leaves me with a discomfort of not having had acquired the position and the pleasure or material things. As human I crave for them, and just as rightly said the desire is the cause. The desire to acquire and hold possession is so strong that I succumb to the drift and I am dragged to the horrifying experience. Every time I come across such thing I am encircled in this vicious circle of why I don’t have and when will I have it. Being content is like attaining nirvana in today’s life. When I know I can’t get an Omega for myself, which my boss has and I envy him, but I fail to recognize the fact and the immense amount of background efforts that might have gone behind it. Now that really puzzles me is, should I fight or I shouldn’t. I want it and i know to crave for it is wrong. So do I stop and feel happy with my Fast track. I think the idea is to wait and watch. Efforts should be seamless in any aspect of your life. There again I come to the most favorite topic the "relationship" while showcasing most of the emotions that I have portrayed on my blog (for which most of them are sad, according to my dear reader and I completely agree to them) I have realized the fact that the most I cry and crib for something extra-terrestrial to happen, it actually becomes extra-terrestrial. The sadness comes when there is no effort put in (in all aspects of life). Haven’t I put an effort, yes I have had but just some of the trees take a duration to yield a fruit and some are instant, maybe I am watering the wrong emotions and the yield is taking sometime. I think the cornflakes are getting a little salty; I need to stop putting that fluid to make it test better. I shall preserve this fluid for the destined area. "I shall not piss on good things or anything that comes to my life and even if I had did pissed already, I shall happily face it"

03 August 2009

One last time

It was completely a coherent decision which I have taken; no matter what my heart says I have decided to marry him. It’s was difficult for her to stand against the strong tide and drift towards Abhilash. It’s almost a year now since me and Abhilash has decided to part our ways. But today I can’t stop myself. May it be a moment of sin, or a memory of lifetime? I owe my life to you. I love you Abhilash, she said gently in his ears and he curled her in his arms just one last time.


02 August 2009

What a lovely end...

what an end to the weekend, I am siting here with my dad with a mug of a beer in our hands and discussing the future. I really like this moment, the moment of peace, the scare free moment. His advices of effectively resolving problems in the most difficult situations, inspire me and i get the needed josh. He is always inspiring and standing tall behind me, when i need the required support. As always i call him Daddu Tum. Thanks Daddu please be there, i need you in this time and forever in my life. I think I am getting too emotional. All being said i am really happy for being attached with my family in such a way. Well that gives me an idea of writing about the people who are of utmost importance in my life. My friends, my parents, my guides. More than that i am happy that the evening is ending in such a way. All set to face the monstrous Monday.

20 July 2009

Icraus

Icraus sat on the edge of Anjean the highest cliff facing the city. Watching the boundless sky, the winds shrilling in his ears, with the dream in his eye that one day he will fly. He would then converse with the wind and scream to the sky. Ever since a child the idea to fly farmed in his tender mind, and grew brawny in him. The barbarian thought forced him to jump of the bed and every possible place where he reached. The wounds gave him the wisdom that his bare thought won’t help him fly. He grew older, eager and restless with his thoughts. All this was noticed by Margareta. She observed him from the day she has learned the art of appreciating a person of an opposite gender. It was something about Icraus compared to his other peers that attracted her, may be his madness to acquire something unfeasible. Margareta thought the passion he would deliver if he would be that crazy for her. Also she was very much in reach; he could touch and feel her.

Margareta always followed Icraus to Anjean, where he spent most of his evenings. She would always reveal her enthrallment by offering him a touch. A touch that would depict her love, a touch that would yell and force a man to demonstrate his masculine supremacy. But Icraus was unmoved by the most powerful force which would drive a man. Margareta knew what Icraus craved for and she often tendered him with words of grace, and enhanced his desire.

As he grew older he started structuring his dreams, and margarita partnered him in the unattainable dream. He saw the birds and an idea struck his mind. He made a vigilant and telescopic look at them and studied their behavior. He then planned to collect the wings of birds. Margareta helped him. She started worrying more for him, because she knew of his dream. She stared his efforts in the most forceful way she could.

One such evening Icraus was tired and his thoughts left him to be with Margareta. It was on that day he noticed for the first time how distinct and attractive Margareta was, her curly hair and black outlined eyebrows. Her lips just as roses her curly hairs so enthralling that he could engulfed his life in them. He perceived that every facet of her body has something so divine and pious. He couldn’t stop himself from being getting engrossed in her splendor, that evening when he was engrafted in her butter soft arms he could actually feel them as soft as wings. That evening two different human beings merged as one celestial soul. Margareta had almost accomplished and acquired the territory that she always wanted to own. That night was the night of triumph for her.

After few weeks the love and fascination for Margareta was more than she ever could have projected, but her dreams were accomplished she had pull off what she had to. She was shocked but she had to believe because her trance was always to get the person of her dreams. She was happy for the fact that Icraus was almost on the verge of forgetting his dream. She was almost on the verge of viewing her life with Icraus till the time she and Icraus would cultivate old. But she wasn’t aware that Icraus was still setting up a plot to attain his dream.

On the dreadful day Margareta was fully dressed and equipped which would demonstrate her most beautiful self. She arrived at Anjean and couldn’t see Icraus any where around. She was worried what could have happened to him. There was a cave like opening on Anjean she entered that space and could listen to the blow of the wind slicing by her arms. A moment later she realized she was armless lying in the caves of Anjean. Icraus was employed with the wings of the birds he had gathered after slaughtering. In addition to the butter soft wings of Margareta. She heard Icraus fixing things along with her arms. He assembled everything and jumped off the cliff. Margareta could feel that she was flying in the air, and she saw Icraus flying next to her. And both kept flying with each other till the eternity.

19 July 2009

Cheated


I am a person of mistakes and mistakenly I don’t learn from my mistakes. What a mistaken statement I need a psychiatrist is what I keep on telling myself when I analyze the facts of the life versus my standing. Too low for a standing in life. When I look for the consequential theory of why my life is moving low.


This is the story from one of my group blogs Fanatic Psyche ...........it seems it was dead there thought of getting it back to life.


Like a person who digs up a grave to make a zombie, I have dug in my own grave and made a zombie out of me. Everyone digs in the past life the dark side. Association with the pain is the passion, and with that passion I am surviving. I have ghastly relationship this term named “Love”.

I always cursed myself for being a complete looser with Love. I was once termed as a play boy. Someone who cannot live without women a complete womanizer. Some of my best friends are girls. For a fact I am happy I don’t swing the other way. I am still attracted to women. There is something in them, it’s like you are working in a honey farm and likes to be stung. The feeling of working in a fire works factory and bursting a cracker with the same excitement.

I like it that way. So here is my Story. I have had over 3 relations in the last 2 years. All of them left me. Why? May be because I am not too good for them, may be because I am not worth it, may be because I pampered them too much or may be because I am a little too possessive. Now again the definition of possessiveness is something which is different for me. For me tightening the leash when required is important. For me telling your partner that I exist is important. For me telling the person you are the only is important. Is this asking for too much? I am sure you must be thinking, “The perfect guy to live with!” may be they had different plans.

Anyways so here I am, having a lovely affair with my love. I am holding her in my arms and looking at the hot day end to a beautiful starry night. The beautiful moon, the cold wind and the very feeling of being close to the loved one. I am enjoying it. 6 months and still going. Every day is like a new beginning, every kiss is like the first kiss, every sigh is like the feeling of being complete. It’s just too good. I am sipping on the wine and thinking whether to ask her to marry me as she is just the right one for me. So I plan it.

I ask her to meet me at the Mirage the next day at around 7pm. I call the hotel and book a presidential suite. I crunch every expense to buy her a ring which enhances her beauty. I get her favorite must burnt on a CD and make arrangements for the best wine available. I get champagne ready and flowers. Off course no date is complete without flowers. It is the second most beautiful thing on earth. The first one is my love off course.

I still remember the 1st time I meet her. We had met through the most imprudent way of communication “Internet”. It was a week of the verbiage exchange and we decided to catch up at Barista. I was worried and was anticipating the fact will she like me? Will she be comfortable with me? Will she like the way I look at her? And countless questions like these. The very fact of disliking forced me in writing a story on my cell phone. Then she opened the door and like the wild storm entered my life. She was smile, she was sunshine, she was star, she was moon, she was the river, she was the lovely breeze, she was the passionate touch. She was the storm full of life which had sparked my life.

She walks in and is excited as though she knows what’s on my mind and gives me the longest hug on earth. I can still feel her heart beating next to mine. She kisses me and I make her sit. She’s holding my hand and says, “So honey you finally realize what I have been waiting for. It’s like a dream come true. Oh god! This has been the best day in my life.” Suddenly I realize things can certainly change and yes there is love for sure.

I smile with a twinkle in my eye and say, “baby I’ve got a gift for you.” She says, “me too!” it was a moment when I felt she could read my mind and it was not only me but she had plans for us. For a moment the “I” and “you” factor dissolved and I could see “we”. I reach my pocket and she reaches her handbag. She takes out an envelope and says I’ve got it honey, I finally got promoted to the level I have always strived for and I shall be moving to Bangalore office very soon. I put the ring back in my pocket and though I had tears in my eyes I smiled and showered my happiness. After all seeing your love happy and taking part in her happiness is the most important part of any relation. So there she goes. She spends most of her left over time with me and I still haven’t asked her to marry me.

So here we are at the airport and I see her happier than ever. Somehow I couldn’t stop myself, though no fancy arrangement and no music and no silence I popped in the question, “Darling, we’ve spent almost 7 months of awesome time and I am somehow getting used to you. I love the way I feel when we’re together. I love your eyes, people say they are small but for me they are full of passion the spark which enhances me every time I look at you, I love your fingers long pointing, I love when you speak with the modulated voice. You know honey above all it’s just about you being around, and that’s what matters the most. We’re so free. Hence I would like to ask you, will you be there to free me for the rest of our lives?” she walks away.

I am hurt and devastated. I should’ve seen it coming I mean it was too early. How could I ignore it? The phone rings it’s her. She apologizes and says, “Darling I am here in Bangalore and I would be back in a year if you can wait.” I found my life back. The assurance was the only thing I needed. I think it was just assurance which had helped me survive. I used to call her everyday. In fact we used to speak for at least three times in a day.

Three times in a day reduced to two times in a week, then to once in a week and then to once in fifteen days. I waited for her to come back and then the time approaches. Just a month left for her to come back. I call her and she ignores my phone calls, then I call again and no one answers. I call her in the night and her phone is busy and that kept on happening……………

My dreams shattered, my hopes crushed and my visions faded. That’s what I felt. A pain so deep that I could not see it coming. A pain so deep that…....

12 July 2009

Come Back


Times gone by will never lie
Till date i ask the question why
Why did i think you were wrong
The decision i took was not strong
I am pulled by the memories
And pulled by every moment that has passed
The quest of you being around has surpassed
The negativity is dead
Every moment of pain, anguish, frustration
Leads to a happy realisation
Yes I crave for you
I need you back again
I need you
I really do



06 July 2009

Almighty need your Mercy

Why do we react and how do we react signifies our personality. Personalities are divided in various forms and type depending upon the reflexes. However the same can be broken down based on the psychological inference. Though the fact remains unshaken and the personality traits are very much defined. But so as to carve my emotions in words I have found an exception. There is an exception that I am facing in life at this point in time. The tremor is actually wowing me upside down. This person is exception to the kind I have met till date in my life. People around me had warned and has lighted my path with there words full of wisdom. But I wanted to try the other way-out and I gave that exception a chance to get over me and start harassing me, making my life hell. The best part is that this gender I suppose is to be the most soft, smooth, understanding. This gender has for centuries played a vital role of being the most emphatic being in this cruel world yes she is a women. Forgive me if you felt like I am gender biased. I am just explaining how good my exception stands and proves that she is an exception. When she commits a mistake I often see a smiley on her email. I am person of mistake; everything I do is nothing but a grave mistake. At times I think I might be right at least by error, and not by the prudent effort that I have put in. How can one be wrong in everything, this fact is completely unaccepted and the same imprudent fact rules me for this part of my painful tenure. Anything discussed casually is also marked as “As discussed kindly do the needful”. Why putting everything on record when you would know that you aren’t doing anything wrong. I think the person is just too scared about something that would go wrong against him/her, I really doubt if that person had did anything true and worthwhile in her life. God please do something worthwhile for this person. Please her forget her work, help her not write emails at 4 O clock in the morning, 11 o clock in the night. Please give her life of her own lfe.God please help her to get out of this vicious workholic circle. I am not a saint to forgive her, God please help me and save me from her.

29 June 2009

Un-conveyed

Sheetal was devised as a cupid by her, to convey her love to Nishant. But she plotted it with a lustrous touch by luring Nishant with an option of new relationship. When the fact was unveiled Nishant ferociously disowned her and the love she had. The only wish left un-conveyed by her was a birthday greeting for which she designed the plot.

09 June 2009

Let the journey begin.....

I am on a crossroad
Which way to take
Should I go straight?
Or to take a turn
Which way would lead
The road to glories of life
And success of high skies
To the deep miseries
And pain standing by
Which way to take
Is the dispute
I wish to win
A hought of failure I refute
I need the radiance
Come hold me and lead me
I need you besides me
Through the miseries and agonies of life
Come let’s walk our way
Let the journey begin.

27 May 2009

Fragrance

Mind full of thoughts
Agony of undone acts
Mysteries of your mind
Actions in plain
Lovely moments
With you around you
So much in pursuit
Reality in dispute
I see you across the table
I watch the glare in your eyes
As a sunshine from a distant coast
Biting aspirations of your belongingness
Piercing me and hurting me
I run around like a maniac
I realize my heart beating faster
The fragrance of you stronger
Devoid if your thoughts for me
I hold your fragrance in me.

25 May 2009

Silence

In woods deep
Are the logs
partially burned
A drop of water
And my soul pacified
The hunger in eyes
The thirst in voice
I sing
The darkness
The grief
The pain surrounds
Mid night stroke
And you linger
The warmth with the touch
As snake trailed path
tunefully and evenly
You reach the skull
With the nibble
And I sway
To the music
Music of my heart
And I dance
I dance till the silence.

19 May 2009

Aise hai yeh zindagi

Aise hai yeh zindagi………….jo chao who paa na sako.
Jo socho, jiske liye socho, uusehi who baat na sako
Tham kar appna dil, dhadkane kar ke teez
Himmat se arz kar bhi do………maut to anni hi hai
Chaaye ikrrar se…………..chayee inkar se
Tho phir kyoun isse bayan kare.
Apne khayalo ko kyoun apne app se juda kare
Kudha kare koi jaddu ho jaye…….
Bin batayen hi insaan saab samaj jaye
Shaayad tab zameen jannat ban jaye.

Guys this is my opening endeavor of scripting somewhat stupid, but trust me I really liked it. I really like doing stupid things these days. What is life without a little bit of stupidity. I hate and refrain from being perfect, because then I would never be apologetic and make someone feel right, I would never agree with anyone and be adamant. The preeminent illustration of the most stupidest object in the universe is the marvelous sentiment called “love”. It really makes you stupid it’s a magic charm everything around seems gorgeous. I think it’s a journey that a person surpasses a journey to heaven everything harmonious, clam, quite and yet understandable. Look I wrote so much in stupidity and again I would say I haven’t said anything. But this is the way it is.

Dedicated to all my stupid bloggers and the anonymous.

17 May 2009

Him & Her

He said what he had to
She heard what she had to
They felt what they had to
He exploited the words
She preferred to be silent
He had a lot to say
She had no time to heed
Her actions breed his thoughts
And he craved for a knot
She felt nothing
Or she had something
Is all that’s bothering
He slaughter his word
Made them bleed
Made them strain
Transformed them
Rejuvenated them
Reincarnated them
Reproduced them
Dipped them in passion
Nursed them in divine emotion
Fanatical devotion
Drenched in his sensation
Brought to the light
Kept them up in sun
Just a nature goes
They had to dehydrate
Everything went up the air
What he holds might be false
Don’t label it as friendly thought
How can she go off him?
Cause in him she’s lingering
But she prefers to be quite
Rather he be quite
Not as quite he was earlier
Quite in quite sense
Live with the essence

10 May 2009

Retake

Compromise is the term………..yes it is the term she was not convinced but was forced to go for it. She got up with the soreness; the ache forceful right from her abdomen through her vertebrae. The colorful stride and the journey of fame. Dreams shattered by the harsh authenticity. She lifted herself from the bed wrapped in the bed sheet moved towards the bathroom. Fantastic shot madam, good job. Mr Misra had arranged for the script reading session at his bungalow in mud-island. “Retake” is what she thought.

07 May 2009

Just little something

Something little for you
All my dreams
All my wishes
All I aspire
All I desire
All I think
All I perceive
All I heed
All my happiness
All my luck
All my conviction
All my thoughts
All my expressions
All my loyalty
All my devotion
All my faith
All my prayers
All my time
All my words
All I can offer is just little something.

04 May 2009

Bus yuhi aoo tum, tuffan bankar..............

Bus yuhi aoo tum, tuffan bankar
And bluster my world
By your existence
Shatter me and my globe
Smash everything that’s devil in me
Chaa jao hum par badal ban kar
Drench and wash me off
Let me flow with your thoughts
Baras jaao tum hum par
ek hasin ehssas ban kar
Just let me be there by you
Touch you, feel you
Is khawab ki chahat mein
Pagal ban baitha hoon
Lost my sanity
And my psyche
Craving for you
Is all I can uncover
Bus abb aabad honge hum
Is cahat ko kho denge hum
Let not desire slay me
I slaughter the quest
And hope for the best
Because in pain, I cannot rest.
Bus yuhi aoo tum, tuffan bankar

03 May 2009

I am free………I can fly

I don’t need the words
The fatal false pretentious word
One stands with his head down
With no self pride and ego to decide
He has survived
His life through a stride
Just a thought and on a ride
Imprudent his feelings
One day she would recognize
Explicit and clear as glass it looks
An arrow struck
And pears through him
Blood screams and shatters
Loudly speaks what matters
But darkness splash
Nothing to hold
He has to endure
For idiotic needs
Do no leniency
Dreams of authenticity
Should gnaw him hard
Munch his flesh
And slay him off
Let him rotten and sting
Since time has to pass
Death unto freedom
I am free………I can fly

22 April 2009

I miss you...

It’s been long
Haven’t seen the sky
Didn’t feel the
Breath and touch
Through words
It’s been long
Mind inscribed on sand
All emotions
Every thing chocked up
It’s been long
From the time on
Stuck with Glimpse
And the eyes
Happiness far
Light not reaching eyes
Words sweet and
Tender do fall on ears
Through all these
Days I most
Feel like a year.

This is dedicated to my dear blog, whom I have been missing like hell.

I am sorry I shall not be regularly in touch with you, because I engulfed in the vicious circle and for a change this time it’s not her eyes. It’s my work.

16 April 2009

Happy Valentines Day Sweet Heart

Shekhar was big enough to fit in the blazer. It was the only blazer which his dad had. The only blazer which was brought when his parents were getting married. Marriage was the only appropriate time when his father wore it. No other circumstance other than marriage demanded the blazer. As a child Shekhar always wished that his body would multiply and he would fit in that blazer someday.

Finally the day came when he could wear the blazer. Shekhar has just turned 18. But he didn’t feel the sense of maturity which is accorded by law. Shekhar was matured well before when he was 18. Maturity to him came suddenly the day when he realized his dad won’t have physical existence around.

Shekhar thought of celebrating his 1st valentines day in the grandest manner. He was all very excited. He started planning for this day. Blazer was given for cleansing. His dad’s bell bottom was altered to fit him. He had his hair grow irrationally to get the destined hair cut. Shekhar has planned the day and the date for the love of his life. He has arranged for chocolates, gifts.

On 14th February Shekhar packed the house with balloons. He made sure the walls where all mounted with yellow colored flowers which she liked. He was all dressed wearing the rejuvenated blazer. He had a retro styled hair cut. The altered bell bottom flawlessly rapped him. He wore on of his dad’s favorite shirt. Shekhar was sitting across the bed waiting for his sweetheart to open her eyes. The only love of his life woke up, and slowly opened her eye. She was shocked to see Shekhar’s dad in front for her, he appeared same as he was on the day of marriage. Shekhar waited till the time his mom would actually absorb the environment around. He pounced on her mom like a cub, and said “Happy Valentines Day Sweet Heart”. You are the only love of my life. Tears rolled of her cheeks. She hugged Shekhar tightly and stared at the snap of his dad which was hanging on the wall.
Photo courtesy: Inmagine

15 April 2009

I am all edged


I know I am creating an exception to the worldly regulation.
This one goes to my boss. We had a presentation today morning and he was really inspiring on how to reach highs in life. His words where so intoxicating, that by the end I was all high with an aspiration to touch the sky.

I burn with those words
I set my life on a blaze
I look at the world
With a different gaze
With the words
Which you said
Hold a distinct edge
The edge to quantify
The edge to qualify
The edge to exceed
The edge to supersede
The edge to excel
The edge to surpass
And with this
I shall cut the curse
And lead to boon
I am all edged

10 April 2009

The journey called “Life”



Through the mountain
And the terrain
Through the rain
Water across
The River, Sea and pond
In all these element
On thing remains constant
The quest to touch something
The desire to reach
High and deep within
This is the surviving point
Which I hold
The quest is to rise
The rise so high
That I am noticeable
Form a distant land
And high sky
Sink myself so deep
That I can touch
Core of you
Every element in me
Moves with a motive
The motive is lucid
Getting close to you
The journey of high
And the low
With existence of you
My journey
Will be the journey
The journey called “Life”

06 April 2009

Filth


Crippling my desires
I let my aspiration ooze out
Reminiscent of the blood
With the gust of an axe
The word
Of begin a filth
And I am distrusted
For my possession
Divine in my heart
I am being waved
By the signal
Will you reach the star?
I fight against those words
I fight against myself
I fight for the love
That I have nurtured
Is that love the holy
Or its just mischievous sprite
I smolder in the rage
Disagreement of truth
And love in me
Ashes freezing
Motionless Mind
Thoughts give up the ghost
I see my remains
Was it really worth
The fight for you
I fought.

I run


I run for the glory
I run for the love
I run for the name
I run for the meet
I run for the charity
I run from the fear
I run for the Mistry
I run for the history
I run for the duty
I run for the beauty
I run to go up
I run to get down
I run for the smile
I run for the tear
I run to go far
I run to come near
I run through the dirt
I run through the rag
I run through the meadow
I run through the wood
I run through the river
I run through the sea
I run to get you
I run to reach you
I don’t know if I am there
Please hold me
I am still running.

No Matter how far or deep the destiny is.

I shall run......

03 April 2009

Survival Instinct


A tree dies of fatal touch
A lethal smile
Pretentious are people and wishes
Fake is the attitude and intentions
Plastic is mending all over again
I see oranges tasting like mangoes
I see rain and pain pondering
I see water and happiness evaporate
I see people masking and wearing faces
I see promises on float
I see devil behind the smile
In the deep dark forest
A small tree in me gazes on the sky
A ray of hope keeps me soaring
I wish to fight the poison around
Happiness shall accomplish the light
And I shall craft the air to breath
Force the survival and make you live

02 April 2009

Why today I have no words


Why today I have no words
Nothing to do no action to take
No dreams and destination
Everything seems shattered
Dedications made to you
Seems like never have mattered
Open your heart to me
I shall burn like no blood in me
I shall be like a block of wood
Craft me the way you want
Make me smile make me cry
Make sure you hang me in your house
Let me there to watch you
In sorrows pain and happiness
Just a mute spectator
Make me the company
Or just touch me
Bring me to life
To listen, cry laugh with you
Engulf my life around you
I wish to be open of what I hold for you
I love you I need you.
I wish to speak these words
Ignorant and disdain
Again and Again
Why today I have no words
I still hang in your house
Waiting to be alive.

Dual micro touch.

 I saw her in those lonely hours of darkness. Drenched in her beauty I lost the boundaries of life beyond existence. I was in love. Yes true love with no obsession to acquire.

 I told her I shall be there sharp at 7 pm. I was almost there on time. I saw her waiting for me at the table. She was elegantly sitting with a bouquet of flowers. I ran past her barely giving her a smile. Nothing was more satisfying than those few seconds with the pot. Nature has its own way of handling human behavior.

30 March 2009

Inscription for you


How do I inscribe something for you?
I impede myself from stating….
What I hold for you
It might be a boon
Or a lethal blow
How do I say?
What I feel for you
Stating in words might kill its zeal
Sometimes I feel you an angel
Every portion and expression of you
Gets in me
And I keep buzzing like a honey bee
Like a holy gospel all over again
My words are inadequate to quantify
What I undergo and surpass
I wish to keep it a secret
An exquisite fragile delusion
You play the axis of my existence
I revolve and dwell around it
The smallest part of me belongs to you
The principal thought ever is you
My ideas are you
My words are you
How do I say anything about me?
I am speechless

29 March 2009

Heartrending Dedication

I feel today
Lifeless and breathless
The density of air
Full of uncertainties
Zeroing down opportunities
It’s the crunch people say
Sheets not working equal
With the left
The right doesn’t contest
Every part of it takes for a fling
Hungry country thinking attrition
Life here is a complete mismatch
Every moment of fear
A devil coming near
The aftermath is horrendous
Prejudiced is the life
Future seems at stake
The only hope that hangs
Is I shall hold it by hand
Off the hands
And off the life
People around in consideration
I wish the existing life in motion.

This is dedicated to people who are suffering trough recession and job cuts......I am completely speechless and the only way i could express was this.

27 March 2009

Two Micro Stories

Happy Saree Day

Rohit was in the 2nd year of MBA course. Immersed in his studies. He wasn’t provoked by these fatal delicacies of attraction, infatuation and love. Least interested in college functions he was dragged by his friends to attend a Saree day. He heard a sweet voice which captured his attention. Sakshi was the tag she was sporting. She was draped in a lovely pink saree and had a mesmerizing look, her exquisiteness was so striking that he was almost a zombie. The celestial beauty had imprinted her mark in his heart. Sakshi was hosting a show, when Rohit saw her for the 1st time. She was speaking and speaking and is speaking till date. It’s their 1st anniversary the only wish Rohit deserves is “Happy Saree Day”

Memories

It was a rainy night. I meet rima and was swept away by the hurricane of her presence around me. I had always valued her in my existence. A sweeping thunder strike. The electricity flows through the water. Converting existence to memories. Memories to live life with. And now I stand under her looking myself in her.

25 March 2009

In dreams I stay


In dream I stay
I’m dreamer by birth
Sky my land
Water my house
Music I breathe
Love I eat
Sun my school
Moon my work
With blood I write
With you I think
Just the way
I want
I make you stay
I make you laugh
I make you cry
I hate this way
My heart sobs
How can I rule
And I feel like a fool
I hate and say
I don’t wish a prey
In my dreams
You free bird
You a lovely mare
You the air
I breathe
In me you go
And make me live
In dreams I stay.

- Nikhil ©

20 March 2009

Why I write


I write to realize
I write to analyze
I write to create
I write to destroy
I write to smile
I write to cry
I write to express
I write to be quite
I write to be with you
I write to be alone
I write to be known
I write to stay unknown
I write to breakout
I write to vend out
I write to live
I write to die
Without it I can’t survive
I write to you
Because I write for you

- Nikhil ©

19 March 2009

I feel like a man


She stands faithful
In my hands
She is set for sacrifice
She blazes herself
When my quest is high
For my satisfaction
She ruins her life
She gives me paradise
Which no one can provide
When I need her the most
She is at utmost
When waiting for someone
She’s the only one
She stands close by
In the rainy day
The winter night
And hot summer sky
My emotions she recognize
In pleasure and pain
She helps me organize
Our love story is not recognized
I am often with her in a lonely night
And she partners me when alone
She loves to the core
Her possessiveness is hardcore
With her burn she burns me too
Making sure I am nearing the end soon
Every morning she kisses me
With her in my hands
I feel like a man

Dedicated to all my smoker freinds.

- Nikhil ©

Fight

I open my heart to the lovely destiny
I have had lots of mutiny in me
But as I lay calmly in my house
I realize it’s not worth the fight
One needs to hold upright the ideas of life.
Face it with grace and pride
Watch the life when it’s on a ride
God gives you vision and a voice
Its must to act novice
Keep it open and be wise
I am taken by the surprise
Life’s on an up rise
And to fight everything
And make wrong the right
My love shall surely suffice.

- Nikhil ©

17 March 2009

7 out of 100

It’s a boring day today; I am almost on the verge of getting drowned in the boredom of regularity that I surpass everyday. And there I am back with the thoughts wandering over my mind. The expression that I cherish the most is to write of what I think, feel and all those obnoxious emotions which creates a zombie out of me and I am person different of the regularity that I follow. A split multiple personality disorder hits me. I am not the one you know.

Why do I write? This question is lingering on my mind. Interesting question and shall surely be answered. I wander through the green pasture of thoughts. I had recently read this book named the Women and Men in my life by “Khuswanth Sigh”. The way a person has professed the significance of the people in his life. I like the very thought of writing for someone, its more of concentrating on a person and burning his qualities to smoke so as to enable people to know the smoky presence of the person in your life and the intoxication.

Just the way my writing goes I remember my school days and more appropriately my English teacher. Some months ago I learned that she no more belongs to the world of living mortals. I still remember the way I was shattered in my English period, Geeta mam always had a point to raise me up and put me a heinous situation. I had no other option then to be a victim to the exceptional fluid of knowledge that she sprinkled over me. She almost made me feel like a pest in the lush green farms, the only reason for the meteoric destruction for the class.

Grammar was something which I hated the most. I cannot forget the match which I had with Geeta mam in 8th standard. I was on the batting end I had to score 35 marks to win the match and I was left with 2 balls in hand. I pulled off my socks and got ready, she came running from Garware end with the spur of moment I moved myself ahead gave a hard hit and the ball landed up beyond the ropes. There I felt like a star and for the next ball, I could gather was a single mark and thus the match winding up to 7/100. I was so drained and after 15 days I had a boxing match with my dad in which I acted like a punching bag…………..there again my dad goes bang!!! Bang!!!! I use to miss my teacher a lot at these hard hitting moments. But as much I can make an effort of writing today its all for a lesson of figure of speech that I like the most. Irony was my favorite figure of speech. Life still stands as an irony.

- Nikhil ©

13 March 2009

Fanatic wish


Something fanatic I wish to do
Raise the voice and open my heart to you
Intrude in your dreams and be with you
Get in your breath and feel the heart in you
Manipulate your mind and paint myself in you
Prejudice your judgment and put some feelings in you
Get you out of the material delight
Make you feel the real and illuminate
I shall take you of to the world
The world of unspoken
Where everything is felt and not spoken
I wish you hold me close someday
Close my eyes and in ears you say
Wake up honey it’s a lovely day
And that day shall surely come my way
If only my fanatic wish comes true.
- Nikhil ©

03 March 2009

Turning Point

It was a long raining day… I was at my balcony sipping Hot Tea and enjoying the scenic beauty. I started playing in the rain… Trying to wash off all the sorrows and worries from my life. While seeing the sky and the nature around me an old lady caught the corner of my eye.

Seemed she was waiting for someone. Old with wrinkles on her face and holding a walking stick in her hand. I thought for a moment may be she wants to go somewhere as she was looking hassled. May be she was waiting for someone because she was looking at her watch every single minute. I love grand moms and dads. I simply love the feeling of gaining so much of experience and still acting like “I don’t know anything; I am so new to it.”

I smiled and thought I should run downstairs and help her out. While I rushed downstairs I carried my jacket with me. It was my mom’s. I reached the corner of my apartments and saw she was boarding a cab. I to a certain extent didn’t like the look on the cabby’s face. He was ugly, did not carry a smile and one of those guys whom you would use to scare your kids.

I stopped there to see where this man is taking my old darling. At a signal near our ally she asked the cabbie to take a u-turn. He stopped in the middle of the road and I am sure he would have tried to act smart. But as the charm she carried I was also sure she would have convinced him.

While taking a u-turn the cab came and stood right before me. It was as though she wanted to cross the road. There sitting under a street lamp was another handsome old man. He had flowers in his hands. She took them and the gave him a kiss on his cheek and said, “Happy Anniversary Darling.’

A bus came and splashed water on the road and they disappeared. It was as though I was hallucinating. I could not understand. There was no one there. The bench however still remained. I went up to it and saw the carving on it. It said, “To my lovely wife, Happy Anniversary. You are the turning point in my life.”

I stood cold. Could not understand what to say and how to explain, for an instance I thought my mind has been playing games. I am seeing things and I definitely need a psychiatrist. I turned back and looked at my mother looking at me concerned and worried. I waved my hands and assured her I am fine.

Something struck me there and it was greater than lightning. I stood there and saw things which no one sees. I saw myself when I was born and then when I started growing up. How much my mom had loved me and how much she cared! She cried when I was hurt or was not well, she worried when I was not home on time. She was there always.

I had loved someone once and I still remember how much I have ignored my mother. I still remember disconnecting my mother’s calls when she called. I still remember ignoring her requests to go for shopping which once I enjoyed just because I had a date fixed. I still remember when I fought with my mom when I had a small quarrel with my love. I forgot everything.

While holding on to my mom’s jacket I still felt the same warmth which I felt when my mom hugged me. I still remember the day when I got dumped and I came home to get a tight hug from my mom. Without saying a word she understood something was wrong. She tells me, “sweetheart when you could not speak I could understand what you need and now that you can talk you are telling me I don’t understand you.” Bang! Her words with extreme pain and her eyes filled with tears still hit me.

I went upstairs and hugged her and said, “Mom no matter how far I go or how close you come you would and always be the only turning point in my life, sorry to have hurt you mom. I love you!”

There are Angles in your life and trust me they do touch you................................ I am touched.

- Nikhil ©

02 March 2009

I Care

It was too early you left me yesterday
I had just seen you
And was waiting for the sunshine by the bay
It was too early that you left
With your eyes I was left
It was too early to demand
My heart followed your command
It was too early to be awake
Your dreams are my stake
I know it’s too early that I felt for you
I know you won’t find it great
And ask me the reason for the silly mistake
And I wish I won’t be too late
I want to say I care

- Nikhil ©

26 February 2009

Words

Words are words
They can hurt
Make you smile
Let you low
Take you high
Words are deceptive
Words are arrogant
Words have attitude
Words are strength
Words are surprise
Words are hope
Words create uneasiness
Words distress
Words might discriminate
At times intimate
Sometimes criminate
They kill
And reincarnate
Words with intent make you live
When I say
How much I care
I have no words.
Inspiration: Latika
- Nikhil ©

19 February 2009

Tinsel Town

With the sun rays on the tinsel town
Life waking up by the street
No routine nothing to do
Striving for minimal needs to no end
Fight for survival every moment
Back to work on the signal light
Life making a huge difference
Different world behind the glass
Life so comfortable
Life so structured
Life so hard-hitting
Life so muddled
To survive the intention
Desire and quest on either end.

- Nikhil ©

Alphanso

Bhima was back to work this morning with his big black rucksack and a tool made out of a badminton racket, his job was finding utilizable on the streets and garbage bins. The season was altering and with the heat the quest for an Alphanso grew in him. He has seen life behind the stained glass complete, luxurious and fulfilling. But as to destiny Bhima always landed with half rotten Alphanso.
One more of my micro stories.............

Nikhil ©

17 February 2009

The Touch

I have the habit of waking up with the touch of Anjali. It was in canteen when love struck me for the 1st time. The fatal blow happened, harder and stronger every time I saw Anjali. Aditya weds Anjali the night of triumph. I still wake up with the same touch, one blow has altered Anjali, she has grown small; she touches me with her tiny tender hands. Anju a part of Anjali and me. Thank you Anjali your touch still remains and I am touched for rest of my life.

Dear Bogglers this is my first ever effort of writing a micro story it is approximately 90 words.
- Nikhil ©

12 February 2009

Change

In me I see the change
I see rising sun and the moon
Hot air sizzling, cold wind chilling
I see the blossom and shedding trees
I see the colors changing
I am barred by my emotion
And meet people to put life in motion
Change in me is demanding
Need an action commanding
Complex human nature unchanging
In me a mutiny sprouting
With thy self combating
In me I see the change

- Nikhil ©

11 February 2009

I am poisoned

I am poisoned
I am poisoned by the eyes,
And the dark outlined eyebrows.
I am poisoned by the word,
And the thoughts.
I am poisoned by the calmness,
And the lovely shy.
I am poisoned by the action you take,
And the lovely moves you make.
I am poisoned by the touch,
And the way I feel is just too much.
I am poisoned and taken by the hallucination,
Every act I do is your imitation.
I see it’s you in my vision.
I am poisoned and I feel the pain,
I shall loose everything for you to gain.
I am poisoned, poison me one last time
Let the poison run in me all over again
Come hold my hand
Take me to the world
Devoid of time and tide
Nothing to regain
No happiness no pain
Emptiness all over again.
- Nikhil ©

05 February 2009

Happy being Sad

Happy being sad is the way of life
At the end of the tunnel there is light
I am not sure you might
But mate you need to fight
Nothing is upright
You need to twist and turn
To fit it right
Life is black and white
What you think is not always right
Happy being sad is an ought
You need to give it a thought
And with the thought there is a shade
Happiness and sorrows of what we are made.

- Nikhil ©

02 February 2009

When I look in your eyes.

When I look in your eyes and analyze
I can’t conclude
Nothing to decide
Why analyze myself then I think???
When I think to discover
And have nothing to uncover
The fire, the quest in me
Your touch pacifying
Two people one soul truly said
And there is enough between us which is unsaid
With unsaid I shall survive for ages
I feel the same every time
When I look in your eyes.

- Nikhil ©

24 January 2009

When I took up writing I was completely unsure of what I wanted to write I just started writing randomly and realised that I was in presnt for a moment and then in past and a the next phrase in future. I was tenesed with why is this happening and I do not hold command over the language. But then I realised if I obey the rules of language I shall never express and with an effort to express my feeling I landed up writing something which is written below.

Intense with tenses

When I write I realise
I am tensed about tenses
Back in the school days
I had no sense about tense
Relived when I found
Expressions are devoid of tense
So now not tensed about tense
I shall express the intense.


- Nikhil ©

21 January 2009

Ultimate Emotion

Ascending aspiration
Undivided inspiration
To win is the intention
Ferocious ambition
Motiveless action
Insane reaction
In me is the vibration
To excel, outcaste is the motivation
In all attention
I have lost compassion
The divine passion
“Love” the ultimate emotion.
- Nikhil ©

19 January 2009

"Plain Me"


I the plain paper
Put an abstract in your mind,
Scratch and fumble on me
You might land up finding yourself in me
Some lines careless, would speak about me
Some dotted gesture would stop you
And the crossed line would revitalize
And the relation divine
Between you and me
The shades of life
Like a colorful strife
Bright sunny day
The wet rainy night
Like the blossom
And the shedding leaves
The morning dew
Put the words on me
You might find you in me.......

- Nikhil ©

16 January 2009

Immortal


I want you in my life

No matter how much I fight

I wish to hold you tight

And make you feel the heavenly delight

My word might go wrong

Phrases that I say might not be strong

Some things I say never make sense

At times you doubt my intelligence

And you still listen to the long non-sense

And it’s your love for me is what I sense

But what I hold in my heart

Is true and ethical

Cause my love for you shall ever be immortal


- Nikhil ©

14 January 2009

I am what I am

To you with love......

I am what I should not be,
Wanted to be someone and could not be
Busy in the world like honey bee
I forgot what I ought to be
The fight that I have in me
Is insanely killing me
Every moment of deep pain
Agitation aggression all in vain
With all limbs crippled
I have a pain to nibble
I ought not to be bad in nasty
But I better be true
Of what I am
I am what I am

- Nikhil ©

09 January 2009

Look Look Look


Look look look
Look back to me
Crazy thing that I have done in me
The little time I spent with you
And centuries revolve around you
your lovely site shall suffice
And a stroke to live life

Look look look
I am always watching you
Reading
and feeling you
Painting a picture of you
But there is nothing that can glue
We both are different
Me and you

Look look look
If you look back in the times
You will see eyes watching you
Old and wrinkled face
Since eras and age
Let me off the cage
My heart is on a carnage.

Look look look
You will have nothing to look
You will feel the emptiness
I shall still watch you
Create and illusion for you
I shall for ever be there for you.


- Nikhil ©